The Inquisitive Inkpot
Exploring Tales and the Art of Telling
Exciting isn’t always Epic: ask eHarmony
As writers, we often dream of our own lives unfolding like one of the epic stories we either admire or are working on.
Do you ever look at someone else’s life story and think, “Wow, what an exciting, adventurous life that person has had. I wish mine had that much complexity and dramatic value.”
I’ve become convinced that we don’t mean that half as much as we think we do!
I mean, how often do we get plot twists and then complain about it? The dramatic turn, the grim defeat, the possibility of eventual triumph, perhaps building to a climax…?
When push comes to shove, most of us probably want a far more ordinary life than we imagine we do.
But I would also warrant that every writer does, deep down inside, want an epic love story.
Well, I’ll be honest: My love story isn’t very epic.
So if you keep reading… you’ve already been warned. 😊
For one: it started out on eHarmony.
For those of you who have seen “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” you perhaps recall the mouse-like male protagonist who dreams of great bravado but can hardly muster the courage to talk to the girl at the office he likes… so he tries to send her a “wink” on eHarmony.
Well, they don’t do “winks” on eHarmony anymore. 😉 They do smileys.
No, my now-husband did not send a smiley in his first message—he sent an epistle. An epistle that I read and was somewhat impressed by, and so our exchanges and conversations began. I mean, he was an Air Force officer… how dangerous could he be?
I won’t bore you with the logistics of how we got to know each other while he was stationed in North Carolina and I was living in Michigan. But quality communication and monthly visits made our 11-month relationship bridge the gap of long distance. Well, really it was the Lord who bridged the gap, but He used American Airlines and Google Meet as some significant tools. 😉
I also won’t bore you with a reiteration of my physical decline during our relationship’s growth. But the two were very inversely connected – and it gave Austin a chance to demonstrate his true depth of character.
He washed my feet because I couldn’t. He put my shoes on because I couldn’t. He handed me my crutches every time I tried to get up. He wheeled me around the neighborhood in my wheelchair so I could see nature and neighbors. He helped me in and out of cars and off of couches. He carried me out of Lake Michigan when I couldn’t stand in the waves. He paused movies so I could just cry when the pain grew so intense I couldn’t focus on the film (which is a very rare occurrence for a screenwriter!!!)
Ironically, in March of 2023, shortly after we began talking, I had commented to my Mom:
“I don’t think I could ever be sure of a man unless he walked through something really hard with me.”
WELL. God heard that.
Austin was there through the worst of my physical and emotional lows, and he was committed to staying.
After a brief period of improvement that fall and after just under a year since we met, he came to visit for Thanksgiving. I’d wondered if he would propose in time for us to get married before his deployment date in March… but honestly didn’t know if that was on his agenda.
So when we drove home from the airport that night, I was disappointed that he didn’t want to go walking around downtown somewhere before meeting up with my family. Instead, he wanted to go straight home – with an abrupt detour to the lake where he had asked me to be his girlfriend.
My heart still speeds up as I remember the moment he whipped the car over to the curb, parked, and said, “We’re going to go to the levy real quick.”
Getting out of the car and walking to the bench, I knew what was coming. Millions of women have felt that feeling of anticipation and of “Oh shoot, this is it!”
There’s nothing epic about the way he softly knelt down and said the most meaningful words anyone has ever said to me, followed by a question no one had ever officially asked me. There’s nothing epic about the fact that was the first time we said we loved each other. There’s also nothing epic about the fact that was our first kiss together.
There’s nothing inherently epic about the fact that we knew he was leaving the country for six months starting in March. There’s nothing epic about pulling together a wedding in three months.
But I will say that when we locked eyes and said our vows at the altar, I found myself choking on the words ‘In sickness and in health.” Those words mean so much more now than I ever imagined.
Perhaps you can relate to how your life’s companion has served you over the years.
And finally, there’s nothing romantic about being separated for six months immediately after saying “I do.”
But what I’ve learned is there is a difference between exciting and epic.
Some of the most ordinary experiences in the world aren’t epic… but I wouldn’t trade their excitement for anything. They aren’t uncommon to man, and they didn’t come about in a mystical way. But they are the memories with flesh and bone that you will hold onto for the rest of your life.
Each of us has milestones, whether with a life partner or not. And perhaps none of those milestone experiences are particularly glamorous. But they are precious. They are yours.
So as a writer sharing publicly for the first time my own love story… I must humbly admit it’s not exactly epic. But it sure was exciting.
Excitement isn’t about what’s happened to you that’s never happened to anyone else. It’s about what’s happening to you for the first time with the person you wouldn’t trade for all the epic moments in the world.
And I sure wouldn’t trade mine.
what’s your story?
How did you meet the love of your life?
What is one memory that, despite being mundane, you wouldn’t trade for anything?
Before you go…
In my next post, I am going to share with you my short film, The Pawn Shop, which recently debuted and was selected as a finalist in a short film competition. Sign up for my newsletter to get notified as soon as it’s posted!
Well, I humbly think this is an epic story! I’m so happy for you! Here’s to many healthy years filled with joy together!
My story? We’ve known each other for a long time. Every next step was beautiful in its way and we both reminisce quite a bit.